Category: Elements of Baby

1) You stop wanting to wear real pants. Seriously. After my first baby was born, I couldn’t wait to squeeze back into my skinny James Jeans. After Alex was born, anything with a waist has gone unworn. Two babies in under two years wreaks havoc on your body…i.e your abs literally split down the middle and have less of a chance of fusing back after the second. I can’t remember the last time I put on a pair of jeans. I’m not ashamed that my daily wardrobe consists of Lulu Lemon pants and a Lucy zip up. I know there are those who have a problem with women who wear yoga pants as clothing. To that I say, grow two humans in your body, push them out, and then talk to me about wearing real pants. Also, have you ever chased a toddler and worn a newborn across your body while wearing jeans? Good luck. Plus, flowing dresses. LOVE dresses.

2) Mommy brain is real and it becomes more severe the more children you have. You may walk out of the house without shoes. Yep, it happened to me. More than once. Being a stay at home mom, my standard footwear are my Ugg slippers and on more than one occasion, I have walked out of the house wearing said slippers, arrived at my destination and realized I wasn’t wearing real shoes. Oh, and a note about real shoes…those strappy stilettos make their way to the back of the closet and ballet flats become the norm. But mostly, slippers.

3) Mornings no longer belong to you. Remember when you used to watch the Today Show with a cup of coffee? Say goodbye to Matt, Natalie, Savannah and Al…Hello Daniel Tiger and Team Umizoomi. Oh, and by cup of coffee, I mean 4.

4) Leaving the house takes twice as long as it did with one child, which took twice as long before you had zero kids. Basically, allow at least an additional 30 minutes per child.

5) You need your mama friends more than ever. They are the ones reassuring you that you’re doing a great job when the tears start to flow in the middle of the playground. They are the ones who will push your child on the swing while you nurse your newborn, physically remove her from the playground during her temper tantrum when it’s time to get back in the car, and chase her down the sidewalk because you’re toting your other little in the front pack. These women are invaluable. And amazing.

6) Screen time = Me time and I’m not sorry about it. With the first, you were diligent about screen time and wouldn’t dare let your impressionable as a peach toddler watch more than one 30 minute educational program a day. If that. Now with your second arrival needing your attention, you depend on Peppa Pig to keep your toddler occupied so you can 1) Go to the bathroom, ALONE. 2) Nurse the newborn without the older one expressing her jealousy 3) Curb a temper tantrum that will wake the newborn from his nap…etc. The list goes on. Look. I watched Sesame Street and Mickey Mouse Club as a child and I’d like to think I turned out just fine 🙂 A couple programs throughout the day isn’t going to ruin their college aspirations and abilities.

7) You stop sweating (some) of the small things. Things that you were intimidated by with one child become easier and less scary once the second one arrives. Nursing in public? No problem. Target and grocery runs? What’s one tantrum when you can have TWO! The pacifier dropped on the floor… better pick it up, wash it, microwave it and boil it before giving it back to the baby. Baby #2…a quick rinse will do the trick 🙂

8) Your body does not and will not bounce back to its original glory after the second. It just doesn’t. I lost all my baby weight and more after my first and continued wearing my teeny bikini. With my second, I’ve embraced the mommy tankini and boy short bottoms. It’s actually quite nice to not have to worry about eating too much before heading to the pool. And you know what? Who cares. Growing a baby is one of the most amazing things you can put your body through…be proud of your new shape and scars. And try not to take offense when the door to door salesman asks when your due date is 2 weeks after giving birth…Yep. Happened to me.

9) You realize that babies don’t need to wear shoes. I know, they are cute and we all fall victim to purchasing several pairs of them before our little one even enters the world. Marielle has pairs and pairs of unworn shoes from her infant years, and yes, they are still cute and perfect because they have NEVER BEEN WORN. But don’t worry. Once they start walking, they will grow out of shoes faster than you can say Zappos.

10) Your heart expands bigger than you ever thought possible. When I gave birth to my daughter, I loved her so much I couldn’t even imagine loving another little human being as much as I loved her. What I didn’t know at the time, was that a mother’s heart is meant to expand and grow with each child you create. When Alex was born, I could literally feel my heart overflow with love for him. A mother’s love is truly endless.

1) Toddlers can be meaner than Regina George discovering you wore pink before Wednesday. I never thought my 18 month old baby girl could possibly bring tears to my eyes besides tears of joy. False. I have endured more emotional and physical ouchies from my toddler than I ever could have imagined could have come from that sweet faced little monster in a onesie and Tiny Toms. I’ve been spit on, slapped, screamed at in the highest pitch sound only a dog could hear and have had more food and water tossed in my face than a soap opera star. Apparently, they do this to the ones they love most.

2) You will spend entire days trying to feed your little foodie and you will take offense when you slave over what you think is a delicious homemade meal that you spent perfectly steaming, chopping and sauteing just for them and it ends up on the floor, in your face and in the dog’s belly all with a resounding “NO!” to go along with it. It’s okay to give up, cave in and hand over the food pouch, yogurt or applesauce for the 8th time that day. Oh and the next day, she will decide she hates that same food pouch, yogurt or applesauce and go on a food strike all together. She is your worst food critic and can make you feel like you just read your own horrible restaurant review in the New York Times. Just keep telling yourself, It’s not personal. She’s a toddler.

3) The terrible two stage actually starts around 12 months. And no, no one tells you that. Right after throwing her a Pinterest worthy one year celebration, your precious one year old will manage to flail herself face first on the floor…screaming, kicking and contorting her body into crazier back arches than an acrobat in Cirque du Soleil.

4) Your toddler will manage to take out the most obnoxiously loud toys just as you put the new baby down for a nap. She hasn’t touched them in weeks…but the baby is sleeping, so obviously this is the best time to rediscover them, then see how close she can sit by the sleeping baby with said obnoxious toy.

5) You will put toys and books on “vacation.” When you feel like you just don’t care about what Brown Bear sees anymore or you just can’t listen to Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer in the middle of summer for the 19th time on repeat, you will conveniently misplace said book and toy and plead the 5th when she wanders around like a crazy person asking where “Brown Bee!!! BROWN BEE!!!” is. Don’t make the same mistake I did and forget to childproof the “vacation” drawer. Brown Bear came back from vacation earlier than expected.

6) It doesn’t matter how much they love something and for how long, one day they can decide they hate it.  Marielle LOVED taking her baths. She would come running down the hallway giddily screaming, “BAA! BAA!” and excitedly watch the tub fill with water and bubbles. Then one day, Marielle part 2 decided she HATED baths and would run the other direction down the hallway screaming, “NOO BAA! NOO BAA!” I’d eventually just place her in the tub and she’d flail around like a fish out of water, screaming at the top of her lungs impairing my hearing for the remainder of the day.

7) Toddlers have multiple personalities that have the ability to show all of their sides in the same episode. When you turn off Daniel Tiger or Bubble Guppies before she decides she’s done watching, you will either a) get the remote thrown at you or b) smacked in the tummy with her out of control little chubby hands. When you give her the eye and tell her no, that hurts mommy, her lip will quiver, she will start to cry and then demand a hug and kiss. Oh, you do love me. I couldn’t tell from the toddler smack down you just gave me.

8) You may take it personally if your toddler doesn’t cry when you leave her in Baby and Me class for the first time. You may cry (even when you’ll just be in the room next door) but she may not. And that’s okay, it’s a good thing actually, You want her to be happy with her little toddler friends and comfortable with you not being around 24/7. And they do actually miss you as evidence by the big hug you will get 45 minutes later.

9) You will rediscover the world through a toddler’s eyes. You will laugh, sing and dance to Raffi and Baby Einstein. Find sheer joy watching them giggle and delight at the sight of the animals at the zoo. You’ll find yourself having the time of your life swinging on the swing set along side your little one, and take pride the first time they go down the playground slide alone. You’ll run through sprinklers, splash in the pool and dance around the kitchen. You will think everything they do is Instagram worthy and you’ll stop caring if you’re the obnoxious mom posting a million photos of your toddler doing the same thing over and over again.

10) But if there is one thing that I could never have imagined, it’s how much love you have for your little one. No matter how much they hit you and scream at you, make you worry, make you angry or make you sad. You are the center of their world and they are yours. They aren’t toddlers forever. This stage will end, and then you’ll forget it ever happened. Maybe that’s why everyone forgot to tell me about the terrible 12 month stage??

Your heart will melt, over and over again when they do unexpected acts of kindness. When they hand you a tissue when you cry, when they kiss their baby brother on the forehead just because, when they come up behind you and wrap their tiny arms around your leg, when they feed you their last precious strawberry with their chubby little fingers, when they look up at you with those big, bright baby blues and sweetly say, “mama.” Just, mama. Raising a toddler is the hardest thing I have ever done, but it’s worth every tantrum and sleepless night.

Yesterday marked 28 weeks in my pregnancy and 12 weeks (more or less) until Baby Boy McCarthy makes his entrance into our family. When I saw on my pregnancy app that I had 12 weeks left, a little bit of panic set in and a string of thoughts entered my mind. It’s a different type of pregnancy brain and It goes a little something like this.

I can’t believe I only have 12 weeks left of just mommy and Marielle time. How is she going to handle this? How am I going to handle this? I’m never going to have 5 minutes to myself…will he be a good napper? Will Marielle still nap as well as she does now? Will they ever nap at the same time? What if he’s a fussy baby? We were so spoiled with Marielle. How can I make sure I am giving baby boy the one on one attention he deserves? Will I be able to take all the baby and me classes I took with Marielle? How will our play dates be different? Target runs are going to be a nightmare, I’m totally going to have to push two carts at once! I haven’t been good about taking my weekly pregnancy photos, I’m a bad mama already. How do I ensure Marielle is getting the attention she needs and deserves, and Brendan too? When will we ever have a date night again? I was just starting to get back into cooking every night…I can say goodbye to that one. I miss traveling. Maybe we’ll go next year. Maybe wait another year until the baby is 2. A 2 and 3 year old on the plane? I didn’t even want to take Marielle on a plane at age 1. Leave the kids with grandparents and go to Europe on our own? No, we agreed we’d travel as a family. Goodbye relaxed travel happily sipping my champagne, hello attempting to keep 2 kids quiet on a 9 hour plane ride with puffs flying through the air, sippy cups and snack traps rolling down the aisles and attempts at diaper changes in tiny airplane bathrooms…

and…just…breathe.

I often have to stop myself from these trains of thought about the future and start thinking about the present. Think about how truly wonderful it’s going to be to hold my tiny baby in my arms, how excited I am for baby and me time during those middle of the night feedings when all is quiet and calm, just me and my son. How amazing it will be to watch Marielle take on the role of the older sister, giving kissies and hugs to her little brother. How wonderfully full our hearts will feel with our new addition. The joy I will feel when I watch Brendan with his new son. How lucky I am to have two beautiful children so close in age. There is plenty of time for sleeping, traveling, cooking and time for myself. I never really completely understood the meaning of taking advantage of the newborn stage, because it goes by so quickly and you’re so sleep deprived you just wish away the newborn stage so you can finally take a shower in peace and quiet.  Those words have so much more meaning now as I look at my 14 month old baby girl and remember what it was like to hold her when she was just under 7 pounds. It’s totally normal to have anxiety when in just a few short weeks our lives will change and we will have two under two. Of course, my biggest concern is Marielle and how her life will change, but I know that after those first couple months of no sleep, sporadic showers and take out dinner, we will settle into family life as a family of four and watch as our two babies grow up together.

My little Marielle turned one year old last Sunday, January 4th. It was truly beautiful, mostly because she was surrounded by her family who loves her so much. Everyone gathered to celebrate this little girl and her one year milestone. I was a bit worried about her January birthday, because what in the world do you do on the coldest month of the year? As a child, my siblings and I all had summer/early fall birthdays so pool parties were usually the theme. But January…man, there are not a lot of options! Luckily there is Pinterest for that now, which can make you feel incredibly creative 🙂 I figured the winter theme was perfect and how cute is the word play on wonderland? I had visions of glittery tulle, snowflake decor, a yummy hot cocoa bar and warm soup. Perfect! Admittedly, I’ve been planning her theme for months. The details didn’t take shape until closer to the day. I wanted to keep it simple, and keep it to just family as not to overwhelm our little one. The menu was easy. I had the hot cocoa bar for guests as they arrived, dinner was a slow cooker tomato basil soup, cheese fondue, and a veggie tray. Simple, warm and filling! The decor was pretty simple as well…glittery tulle covered the tables, pink and gray balloons, a photo banner of her past 12 months, flowers, snowflakes and a wish tree. I’ve shared some photos below that show the details of her big day! Marielle is truly a lucky girl. She had a wonderful 1st birthday surrounded by grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles and of course, her adoring parents.